Emotionally resilient people have a unique way of dealing with life’s ups and downs. They don’t crumble under pressure; instead, they adapt and bounce back stronger than before. But what’s their secret?
According to psychology, it all comes down to their daily habits. As Lachlan Brown, Hack Spirit founder with an avid interest in mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve spent years studying the art of resilience.
Let’s delve into the 10 habits of emotionally resilient people that allow them to sail smoothly through the stormy seas of life. It’s not about becoming impervious to pain or stress, but learning how to deal with them in a healthier way.
1) Emotionally resilient people practice mindfulness
Psychology tells us that one of the key habits of emotionally resilient people is their practice of mindfulness.
Mindfulness, a concept I’ve explored deeply in my journey through Buddhism, involves being fully present in the moment, acutely aware of our thoughts and feelings without judgement.
It’s not about pushing away negative emotions; instead, it’s about acknowledging them, understanding them. This simple act of awareness creates a space between the person and their emotions, allowing them to react less impulsively and more thoughtfully.
Mindfulness also helps in staying grounded during stressful situations, reducing the chances of being overwhelmed. This is why mindfulness is often associated with lower levels of stress, anxiety and depression.
By practicing mindfulness regularly, emotionally resilient individuals cultivate a mindset that helps them navigate through life’s challenges with more ease and grace. It’s not a quick-fix solution but a lifelong habit that fosters emotional strength and resilience. And trust me, it’s worth the effort.
2) They cultivate compassion
Another important habit of emotionally resilient people, according to psychology, is their active cultivation of compassion – both for others and for themselves.
Compassion is a fundamental teaching in Buddhism, and in my personal journey, I’ve come to understand its transformative power. It’s about acknowledging the suffering of others, and even our own suffering, with a sincere desire to alleviate it.
Emotionally resilient individuals understand this. They extend kindness and understanding to themselves when they falter, rather than succumbing to self-criticism. They also show empathy towards others, realizing that everyone is fighting their own battles.
The great mindfulness expert Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Compassion is a verb.” It’s not just a feeling but an action.
By practicing compassion in our daily lives, we can build emotional resilience, fostering a sense of connectedness and reducing the impact of stress and negativity. It’s a habit that can truly change the way we experience the world.
3) They maintain a balanced ego
One crucial trait of emotionally resilient individuals is their ability to keep their ego in check.
Having a balanced ego doesn’t mean being self-deprecating or lacking confidence. It’s about understanding our place in the world, acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, and not letting our self-worth hinge on external validation.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego“, I delve into this concept deeply, exploring the Buddhist teachings on ego and how we can apply these principles to lead a more fulfilling life.
Emotionally resilient people understand that their value goes beyond their achievements or failures. They maintain a healthy self-perception, which allows them to face life’s adversities without crumbling under the weight of their ego.
This habit not only aids in emotional resilience, but also paves the way for authentic relationships and meaningful connections. After all, when we’re not preoccupied with our ego, we’re more open to understanding and relating to others.
4) They embrace change
Emotionally resilient people understand that change is inevitable and is a part of life. They don’t resist change; instead, they embrace it, adapt to it, and often even thrive in it.
The Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, “The only thing that is constant is change.” Emotionally resilient folks embody this wisdom in their daily lives.
Change can be challenging and even daunting. But instead of fearing it, resilient individuals see it as an opportunity for growth and learning. They remain flexible, adjusting their sails according to the winds of change.
Practically speaking, this can be as simple as changing your routine now and then, trying out new things or accepting new responsibilities at work. It keeps you adaptable and better prepared for when bigger changes come.
Life isn’t about avoiding the storm but learning to dance in the rain.
5) They understand and live by their core values
Knowing oneself is not just about understanding our strengths and weaknesses. It’s also about understanding our core values – the principles that guide our decisions, actions, and behavior.
As someone who has delved deep into mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve realized the importance of identifying and living by my core values. It brings clarity, purpose, and a sense of direction in life.
Emotionally resilient people have a clear understanding of their core values. They use these guiding principles to navigate through life’s challenges, making choices that align with their true selves.
Want to discover your core values? Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown has an excellent “Defining Your Values Exercise” that can guide you through this process.
Living in alignment with our core values brings a sense of fulfillment and authenticity. It strengthens our emotional resilience because we’re living a life true to who we are, not swayed by the expectations or judgments of others.
6) They prioritize self-care
Self-care is more than a buzzword; it’s a necessity for emotional resilience.
Emotionally resilient people understand the importance of taking care of their physical, mental, and emotional health. They know that they can’t pour from an empty cup.
This doesn’t mean indulging in extravagant spa days or expensive vacations (although those can be nice too!). It’s about simple, practical habits that can be incorporated into our daily lives.
It could be as simple as ensuring you get enough sleep, eating healthy, staying hydrated, or taking a few minutes each day to relax and unwind.
Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential. It’s the foundation upon which emotional resilience is built. So make self-care a priority. You deserve it.
7) They practice acceptance
Acceptance is a vital ingredient in the recipe of emotional resilience. It’s about acknowledging reality as it is, not as we wish it to be.
In my exploration of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned that resistance to reality often causes more suffering. Acceptance, on the other hand, allows us to deal with life’s challenges more effectively.
Emotionally resilient people don’t waste energy fighting against things they can’t change. Instead, they accept them and focus their efforts on areas where they can make a difference.
This doesn’t mean resigning oneself to a life of misery. It’s about recognizing the situation, understanding what can be changed and what can’t, and taking constructive steps forward.
Practicing acceptance helps us stay grounded in reality, paving the way for emotional resilience. It’s a habit that requires patience and practice but has profound benefits in the long run.
8) They maintain a positive outlook
Keeping a positive outlook, even in difficult times, is another habit of emotionally resilient people. They focus on the silver linings, the lessons to be learned, and the opportunities for growth that come with every challenge.
The renowned physicist Albert Einstein once said, “In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Emotionally resilient individuals embody this perspective. They view challenges not as roadblocks but as stepping stones towards growth and self-improvement.
This doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about maintaining a hopeful, optimistic attitude. It’s about believing in our capacity to overcome difficulties and trusting that things will eventually get better.
Cultivating a positive outlook is more than just wishful thinking; it’s a resilience-building habit that can help us navigate life’s ups and downs with greater ease and less stress.
9) They aren’t afraid of vulnerability
Here’s something that might surprise you: emotionally resilient people aren’t afraid of being vulnerable.
In my journey, I’ve learned that vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness. In fact, it takes a lot of courage to open up, be authentic, and express our true feelings.
Emotionally resilient individuals understand this. They allow themselves to feel, to hurt, to love, to be disappointed. They don’t shy away from their emotions or try to suppress them.
Instead, they embrace vulnerability as an integral part of being human. They recognize that it’s okay not to be okay all the time.
By allowing themselves to be vulnerable, they build emotional strength and resilience. So don’t fear vulnerability; embrace it. It’s a sign of bravery and authenticity.
10) They establish strong social connections
Last but not least, emotionally resilient people understand the importance of having strong social connections.
Human beings are social creatures. We thrive on companionship, empathy, and mutual support. Resilient individuals actively nurture their relationships, offering support to others and also allowing themselves to lean on others when needed.
This doesn’t necessarily mean having a large social network. It’s about the quality of your relationships, not the quantity.
Make it a point to connect with your loved ones regularly, and don’t hesitate to reach out when you need support. Remember, we’re stronger together. Building and maintaining strong relationships is a potent tool for enhancing emotional resilience.
Conclusion
In conclusion, emotional resilience is not an innate trait but a skill that can be developed over time. By adopting these habits – from practicing mindfulness and acceptance to understanding our core values – we can cultivate emotional resilience, allowing us to navigate life’s challenges with increased grace and strength.
Remember, it’s not about avoiding difficulties but learning how to deal with them effectively. And part of that involves understanding ourselves better. To help you on this journey, I recommend Jeanette Brown’s “Defining Your Values Exercise“.
Life will always have its ups and downs, but with emotional resilience, we can not only withstand the storms but emerge stronger and wiser from them.
