Life can be unpredictable, tossing us into rough seas when we least expect it. Yet, some people manage to stay strong, no matter what life throws at them.
Hi, I’m Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and a dedicated practitioner of mindfulness and Buddhism. I’ve spent years studying the resilience of individuals, and I’ve noticed that these unshakeable souls share specific habits.
These habits are not innate; they’re learned and cultivated through experience and intention. And I believe that anyone can adopt them.
In this piece, we’ll explore 10 habits of people who stay strong, even when life doesn’t go to plan. You’ll find practical tips and guidance to help you develop these habits, fostering a sense of resilience that can weather any storm life throws your way.
Let’s dive in.
1) Embrace the present moment
An inevitable part of life is that it’s full of surprises – some pleasant, others not so much. When life doesn’t go according to plan, those who stay strong have a common habit: they embrace the present moment.
In my years of studying and practicing mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned that living in the present is a powerful tool for resilience. It’s not about ignoring the past or the future, but rather acknowledging them without being consumed by them.
When the winds of change blow, these individuals don’t resist or run away. Instead, they ground themselves in the present, taking each moment as it comes. This acceptance allows them to navigate through adversity without being overwhelmed.
It’s like being in a boat amidst a storm. The sea may be rough, but by focusing on steering the boat in the present moment – not worrying about how far they’ve come or how far they have to go – they can navigate through the storm.
Learning to embrace the present moment can take practice, but it’s worth it. It can help you remain calm and steady, even when life doesn’t go to plan. And remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. Start small and be patient with yourself as you cultivate this habit.
2) Cultivate mindful acceptance
The beauty of mindfulness is that it teaches us to accept life as it unfolds, even when it doesn’t go according to plan. And this acceptance isn’t passive; it’s an active process of acknowledging the reality of a situation without judgement or resistance.
In my own life journey, cultivating mindful acceptance has been a game changer. It’s made me more resilient, enabling me to cope with unexpected challenges more effectively.
Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned Buddhist monk and mindfulness expert, once said, “Embrace your suffering tenderly. Don’t run away from it…Just by holding your suffering tenderly, you’re already on the path of healing.”
This quote beautifully encapsulates the essence of mindful acceptance. It’s about recognizing our struggles, our disappointments, our suffering – and instead of resisting them, we hold them gently. We acknowledge them without letting them define us.
By cultivating this habit, we allow ourselves to experience feelings of discomfort or pain without letting them overwhelm us. This approach can provide a sense of calm and clarity that keeps us strong when life doesn’t go to plan.
3) Live with maximum impact and minimum ego
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned on my journey is the importance of balancing ambition and humility. There’s a strength in living life with maximum impact, striving to make a positive difference in our world. But there’s also a need to minimize our ego, to remember that we are part of a larger whole.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into this concept in depth. I explore how Buddhist teachings can guide us in living life fully and authentically, while maintaining humility and compassion.
People who stay strong even when life doesn’t go as planned understand this balance. They strive to make a difference, to live a life of purpose and meaning. But they also know that they are not the center of the universe. They understand that setbacks and disappointments are part of the journey, and they don’t let these experiences inflate or deflate their ego.
Cultivating this habit can help us navigate through life’s ups and downs with grace and resilience. It allows us to keep going, even when things don’t go according to plan.
4) Practice self-compassion
Life is a journey, and sometimes, the path gets steep, rocky, or obscured. It’s during these times that the habit of self-compassion becomes critical to staying strong.
Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding as we would a good friend. It’s about acknowledging our struggles without harsh judgement or criticism.
The Dalai Lama once said, “If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. You will not be able to love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not capable of developing compassion for others.”
This quote hits the nail on the head. Being hard on ourselves doesn’t help us navigate through life’s challenges. Instead, it drains our energy and reduces our resilience.
Practically speaking, try to catch yourself when you fall into self-criticism. Replace negative thoughts with kinder ones. Instead of berating yourself for a mistake, remind yourself that everyone stumbles sometimes. It’s part of being human.
5) Understand your core values
One of the most empowering things we can do for ourselves is to understand what truly matters to us. Our core values act as a compass, guiding us through life’s twists and turns. They remind us of our true north, helping us stay strong and resilient, even when the going gets tough.
In my journey, recognizing my own values has been transformative. It has helped me make decisions that align with who I am and what I believe in, even during challenging times.
Life Transition Coach Jeanette Brown has created an excellent resource, the “Defining Your Values Exercise”, to help you identify your core values. This exercise can provide valuable insights into what drives you and guides you. It’s a tool I highly recommend.
Knowing your core values isn’t just about self-awareness; it’s about self-empowerment. When life doesn’t go to plan, returning to your values can help you regain your footing, adjust your sails, and find the strength to keep going.
6) Maintain a healthy lifestyle
While it may sound obvious, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is a powerful habit that helps us stay strong, even when life doesn’t go to plan.
Physical health and mental resilience often go hand-in-hand. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep are all essential for our overall well-being. These practices not only keep us physically strong but also enhance our mood and mental clarity.
So, what does this look like in practice? It could be as simple as going for a walk every day, cooking a nourishing meal, or ensuring you get enough sleep each night.
It’s not about drastic changes or perfection. It’s about small, consistent steps towards better health. So start where you are and do what you can. Over time, these small changes can make a big difference in your ability to handle life’s ups and downs.
7) Cultivate a mindfulness practice
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for anchoring ourselves amidst life’s storms. It brings us back to the present moment, helping us to stay grounded and resilient.
In my own journey, cultivating a mindfulness practice has been instrumental. It has taught me to observe my thoughts and feelings without judgement, allowing me to respond to life’s challenges with calmness and clarity.
Mindfulness can be as simple as focusing on your breath, observing your thoughts, or tuning into your senses. It’s about being fully present in the here and now.
Consider setting aside a few minutes each day for mindfulness. This could be through meditation, mindful walking, or simply pausing to take a few deep breaths.
Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can help you stay strong, even when life doesn’t go as planned. It’s not a quick fix, but a lifelong practice that can guide you through life with grace and resilience.
8) Embrace change and uncertainty
Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Those who remain strong even when things don’t go as planned have learned to embrace change and uncertainty, rather than resist them.
Famous philosopher Alan Watts once said, “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” This quote encapsulates the essence of embracing change. It’s not about trying to control or predict every outcome, but rather moving with the flow of life.
Take a step back and observe changes as they come. Acknowledge any feelings of uncertainty or discomfort they may bring. Then, instead of resisting, try to accept and adapt.
Change is not inherently good or bad. It’s simply part of life. By embracing it, we can remain strong, adaptable, and resilient, no matter what life throws our way.
9) Allow yourself to feel
It may seem counterintuitive, but one of the habits that keep people strong when life doesn’t go as planned is allowing themselves to feel their emotions fully.
In my journey, I’ve learned that suppressing or avoiding feelings doesn’t make them disappear. In fact, it often amplifies them. On the flip side, acknowledging and feeling our emotions can be incredibly healing and empowering.
When life throws a curveball, it’s natural to experience a range of emotions – disappointment, fear, sadness, or even anger. Allow yourself to feel these emotions without judgement. It’s okay not to be okay all the time.
Emotions are not weaknesses; they’re part of being human. By acknowledging and feeling our emotions, we can process them in a healthy way and find the strength to move forward.
10) Surround yourself with support
No man is an island. In challenging times, having a support network can make a significant difference in our ability to stay strong.
This could be family members, friends, mentors, or even professional help like therapists or counsellors. Don’t hesitate to reach out and share your feelings or concerns. Sometimes, simply talking about what’s happening can bring clarity and relief.
It’s also important to surround yourself with positive influences – people who uplift you, inspire you, and believe in you. Their support can provide the strength and resilience you need when life doesn’t go to plan.
Seeking help and support is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength. It shows that you value yourself enough to take care of your emotional well-being.
Conclusion
Life can be unpredictable, filled with unexpected twists and turns. But these 10 habits can help us navigate through the ups and downs with strength and resilience.
Remember, these habits are not inborn; they are cultivated. Start small and be patient with yourself. It’s about progress, not perfection.
I encourage you to try out Jeanette Brown’s “Defining Your Values Exercise”. Understanding your core values can provide a strong foundation for building resilience.
Remember, staying strong is not about avoiding hardships or suppressing emotions. It’s about embracing life as it comes, acknowledging your feelings, and taking care of yourself. It’s about living authentically and courageously, no matter what life throws your way.
