Mental toughness. It’s what separates the good from the great, the achievers from the dreamers. As Lachlan Brown here, founder of Hack Spirit and a keen scholar of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve spent years studying what makes people mentally tough.
Psychology gives us some fascinating insights into these individuals. They’re not just born with it; they cultivate certain habits that bolster their mental resilience.
You see, mental toughness isn’t about never feeling down or stressed. It’s about standing strong amidst life’s storms and staying consistent in your actions and decisions. And there are particular habits that these folks follow to make this possible.
In this article, I’ll be sharing with you 10 habits of people with exceptional mental toughness, as backed by psychology. You might just find a few that you can adopt for yourself.
Let’s get started.
1) Embrace the present
Ever noticed how some people seem to be unfazed by life’s ups and downs? They have a knack for staying calm, even in the midst of chaos. It’s not just luck or genetics – it’s a practiced habit of mindfulness.
Psychology tells us that those with remarkable mental toughness tend to live in the present moment. They don’t dwell on past mistakes or anxieties about the future. Instead, they focus on what’s happening right here, right now.
This mindset allows them to deal with life as it comes, without being overwhelmed by what could have been or what might happen. It’s all about accepting the current situation and working with it, rather than against it.
Mindfulness is a key part of this process, helping to cultivate an awareness and acceptance of the present. It’s a simple concept, but its impact on mental toughness is profound. By training your mind to stay focused on the present, you can better manage stress and maintain emotional balance.
If you’re striving for mental toughness, start by embracing the present moment. It’s a habit that requires practice but trust me, it’s worth every mindful breath.
2) Cultivate equanimity
When life throws a curveball, how do you react? Do you get flustered, or do you remain calm and composed? People with outstanding mental toughness have mastered the art of equanimity.
Equanimity, a term often used in Buddhism, is the ability to remain calm and composed, especially during difficult situations. It’s about having an even-tempered, balanced state of mind no matter what’s happening around you.
Now, I’ve been studying mindfulness and Buddhism for years and one quote that always resonates with me is from the renowned Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh. He said, “The ocean of suffering is immense, but if you turn around, you can see the land.”
This quote beautifully encapsulates the concept of equanimity. It reminds us that while we can’t control the ocean of life’s difficulties, we can control how we navigate it.
Cultivating equanimity isn’t about suppressing emotions or pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging feelings without letting them control us. It’s about staying steady in the face of life’s storms.
3) Practice non-attachment
Ever held on to something so tightly, only to realize it’s causing you more harm than good? People with exceptional mental toughness know the power of non-attachment.
Non-attachment is a vital concept in Buddhism and mindfulness practices. It’s about letting go of our need to control everything and everyone around us. It’s about accepting that change is a natural part of life.
In my book, “Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego”, I delve deeper into this concept. I discuss how letting go of our attachments can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
Of course, practicing non-attachment doesn’t mean you stop caring about things or people. It simply means you don’t let your happiness depend on them. You allow things to come and go as they will, without clinging or resisting.
Consider adopting the habit of non-attachment. It’s not always easy, but it’s a crucial step towards cultivating mental toughness. Plus, it just might make your life a little lighter and more enjoyable too.
4) Develop a growth mindset
Ever heard of the phrase “mind over matter”? It’s more than just a catchy saying – it’s a testament to the power of our mindset. And those with remarkable mental toughness? They’ve mastered the art of cultivating a growth mindset.
A growth mindset, as defined by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that our abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. It’s about seeing challenges as opportunities to grow rather than obstacles to avoid.
Henry Ford once said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” This quote perfectly encapsulates the power of our mindset. Our beliefs about ourselves directly influence our actions and outcomes.
So how can you develop a growth mindset? Start by embracing challenges, persisting in the face of setbacks, and seeing effort as a path to mastery. It’s about learning from criticism and finding lessons in the success of others.
It may not be easy, but cultivating a growth mindset is a habit that can significantly boost your mental toughness. And remember, it’s not about being perfect – it’s about constant learning and growth.
5) Understand your core values
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt lost or unsure of what to do? People with remarkable mental toughness often have a clear understanding of their core values, which serve as their guiding principles.
I’ve come to realize that understanding your own core values is crucial for maintaining mental resilience. These values act like a compass, helping you navigate through life’s challenges and make decisions that align with who you are and what you believe in.
Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown has created an excellent Defining Your Values Exercise that can guide you in identifying your own core values. It’s a practical tool that can help bring clarity and direction to your life.
Knowing your core values isn’t just about self-awareness. It’s also about being authentic and living a life that aligns with these values. And when your actions match your values, you’ll find it easier to face challenges head-on, without compromising who you are.
Take some time to understand your core values. It’s an investment in yourself that can significantly bolster your mental toughness. And remember, being true to yourself is one of the most powerful habits you can cultivate.
6) Prioritize self-care
Let’s keep it simple. People with remarkable mental toughness don’t neglect self-care. In fact, they prioritize it.
Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days (although those can be great!). It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It’s about recognizing when you need a break and allowing yourself to take one.
But how can you make self-care a habit? Start by incorporating small acts of self-care into your daily routine. This could be anything from taking a short walk during lunch to practicing mindfulness exercises before bed.
Self-care is not selfish or indulgent. It’s a necessary part of maintaining your mental toughness. By taking care of yourself, you’re ensuring that you have the energy and resilience to face whatever comes your way.
Don’t neglect yourself in the hustle and bustle of life. Make time for self-care. It’s a simple habit, but its impact on your mental toughness can be significant.
7) Practice mindful communication
Communication is key in all areas of life, and people with remarkable mental toughness understand this. They don’t just communicate; they communicate mindfully.
Mindful communication is about being present and attentive during interactions. It’s about really listening to what the other person is saying, rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak.
Over the years, I’ve found that practicing mindful communication not only improves my relationships but also helps me stay grounded and focused. It allows me to understand other perspectives, which in turn cultivates empathy and patience – crucial components of mental toughness.
To practice mindful communication, try focusing on the present conversation. Eliminate distractions and resist the urge to formulate your response while the other person is still speaking. Practice active listening and ensure your responses are thoughtful and considerate.
Communication is a two-way street. By practicing mindful communication, you’re not only strengthening your mental toughness but also building stronger, healthier relationships.
8) Embrace failure as a learning opportunity
Failure. It’s a word that many of us fear. But those with remarkable mental toughness? They see failure as nothing more than a stepping stone to success.
Great inventors, leaders, and thinkers throughout history have echoed this sentiment. Thomas Edison, for example, once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This perspective on failure is a hallmark of mental toughness.
Those with mental toughness understand that failure is a part of life. More importantly, they see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. They don’t dwell on their mistakes; instead, they analyze their failures, learn from them, and use that knowledge to improve.
When you face a setback, don’t let it discourage you. Embrace it as a learning opportunity. After all, the path to success is often paved with failures. And remember, it’s not about how many times you fall – it’s about how many times you get back up.
9) Allow yourself to feel emotions
Here’s something you might find surprising. People with remarkable mental toughness don’t suppress their emotions. In fact, they allow themselves to feel them fully.
I know, it sounds counterintuitive. Shouldn’t mentally tough people be able to push aside their emotions and carry on? But that’s a common misconception. True mental toughness is not about ignoring or suppressing emotions; it’s about acknowledging them and dealing with them in a healthy way.
I’ve learned that by allowing myself to feel my emotions – be it sadness, anger, or fear – I’m better able to understand them and manage them. This doesn’t mean dwelling on negative feelings, but rather recognizing them for what they are: temporary states of mind.
By acknowledging your emotions, you’re not letting them control you. Instead, you’re taking control of them. This emotional awareness and management is a key habit of those with remarkable mental toughness.
When you’re feeling emotional, don’t try to push those feelings away. Allow yourself to feel them, understand them, and then let them pass. It’s a healthier approach to emotional wellbeing and a significant step toward mental toughness.
10) Set realistic goals
Finally, let’s talk about goal-setting. People with remarkable mental toughness are experts at setting and pursuing realistic goals.
Setting realistic goals is about understanding your abilities and limitations. It’s about setting achievable targets that push you, but don’t overwhelm you.
But how can you set realistic goals? Start by breaking down your larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks. This makes them less daunting and easier to tackle. Remember to set a timeline for each task and monitor your progress regularly.
Goal-setting not only keeps you focused but also provides a sense of accomplishment that boosts your mental toughness. Each small victory brings you one step closer to your larger goal, fueling your motivation and resilience.
Go ahead and set those goals. Keep them realistic, keep them achievable, and watch as your mental toughness grows with each task you complete.
Conclusion
Mental toughness isn’t about being immune to stress or devoid of emotions. It’s about cultivating habits that allow you to navigate life’s challenges with grace and resilience.
From embracing the present to setting realistic goals, these habits can significantly bolster your mental toughness. But remember, like any habit, they require practice and dedication.
I highly recommend trying out Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown’s Defining Your Values Exercise. It’s a practical tool that can help you understand your core values and guide your actions.
Remember, mental toughness is not a destination but a journey. It’s about constant learning, growth, and self-improvement. So keep practicing these habits and witness the remarkable change in your mental resilience. After all, the only limits that exist are the ones in your mind.
