If you’re not attached to these 10 things, you’ve mastered the art of letting go

Letting go is an art. It’s about disconnecting from the things that hold us back and choosing freedom instead.

It’s a tricky business, though. To master it, you need to detach from certain things that most of us cling onto tightly.

In this article, I’m going to share ten things that, if you’re not attached to, suggest you’ve got this whole ‘letting go’ thing down pat.

Let’s get started.

1) Material possessions

There’s a saying that goes, “The things you own end up owning you.” It’s a profound message about the power our possessions can have over us.

When we’re attached to material things, it can feel like they’re holding us hostage. It’s as if our happiness is tied to having these things, and losing them would be the end of the world.

But if you’ve mastered the art of letting go, you’ve realized that material possessions are transient. They come and go. You appreciate what you have, but you don’t hinge your happiness on them.

You know that at the end of the day, these things are just that – things. They don’t define you or your worth.

2) The need for approval

Ah, the need for approval. This is a tough one, and it’s something I’ve personally grappled with.

There was a time when I found myself constantly seeking validation from others. Whether it was my work, my appearance or my decisions, it felt like I was constantly looking for a thumbs up from those around me.

But then I realized, this constant need for approval was exhausting and frankly, unfulfilling. Why should my sense of self-worth be tied to what others think?

So I started to let go. I stopped seeking validation from others and started to trust in my own abilities and instincts. Sure, it’s nice to be appreciated, but my self-worth is no longer dependent on it.

And let me tell you, it’s liberating. If you can detach from this need for approval, you’ve definitely mastered an important part of the art of letting go.

3) Grudges

Holding onto grudges and past hurts is like carrying around a heavy backpack. It weighs you down, making every step harder and more tiring.

Mastering the art of letting go means learning to forgive, not for the other person’s sake, but for your own. It’s about accepting that what happened, happened, and choosing to let go of the resentment and hurt.

When you can do this, you lighten your load tremendously. It’s not just good for your mental health, but for your physical health too.

4) Control

Life is unpredictable. That’s a fact. However much we try, controlling every aspect of our lives is simply impossible.

For many, this uncertainty can be a source of anxiety. We cling onto the idea that if we can just control everything, then everything will be okay.

But life doesn’t work like that. Things happen that are out of our control, and that’s okay.

When you’ve mastered the art of letting go, you understand this. You accept that you can’t control everything. You focus on what you can control – your actions, your reactions, your attitude – and let go of the rest.

This acceptance doesn’t mean you’re giving up or not caring. It means you’re choosing peace over anxiety. You’re choosing to flow with life rather than against it.

5) Past mistakes

We all make mistakes. It’s a part of being human. But dwelling on past errors and constantly beating ourselves up over them? That’s a habit we need to let go of.

When you’ve mastered the art of letting go, you understand that mistakes are opportunities for growth. They’re lessons, not life sentences.

You accept that you messed up, you learn from it, and then you move on. You don’t use it as a stick to beat yourself up with or let it define your worth.

We are all works in progress. So if you’re not attached to past mistakes and instead see them as stepping stones to a better you, then you’re definitely mastering this whole ‘letting go’ thing.

6) Lost relationships

Losing someone you care about is one of the hardest things we go through as humans. Whether it’s a breakup, a fallout with a friend, or even the passing of a loved one – it hurts.

We often hold onto these lost relationships, clinging to the memories and what could have been. It’s like we’re stuck in a time capsule, unable to move forward.

But mastering the art of letting go means understanding that people come and go in our lives. Sometimes, they’re meant to be with us for a lifetime, and at other times, they’re just passing through to teach us something.

Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or not caring. It means cherishing the memories, learning from the experience, and then allowing yourself to move forward.

It’s about accepting that some chapters need to close so new ones can open. It’s tough, but oh so necessary. And if you’re able to do this, then you’re truly mastering the art of letting go.

7) Fear of failure

This one hits close to home. I’ve spent a good portion of my life held back by the fear of failure.

It’s a paralyzing fear. It whispers in your ear that you’re not good enough, that you’ll mess up, that people will laugh, that you’ll be embarrassed.

But I’ve learned something important: Failure is not the enemy. The real enemy is the fear of failure that holds us back from trying, from taking risks, from growing.

Letting go of this fear doesn’t mean you won’t fail. You will. We all do. But it means you’re not letting the fear of failure stop you from living your life.

You’re choosing courage over comfort. You’re choosing to try, even if there’s a chance you might fail.

And if you can do this, if you can let go of this fear and embrace the possibility of failure as part of the journey, then you’re well on your way to mastering the art of letting go.

8) Perfection

Perfection. It sounds like a great thing, doesn’t it? Always striving to be the best, to make no mistakes, to have everything just right.

But here’s the catch. Perfection is an illusion. It’s a never-ending cycle of always needing to do more, be more, achieve more.

Holding onto this idea of perfection can lead to stress, burnout, and never feeling satisfied with what we’ve accomplished.

So here’s a thought – what if we let go of perfection? What if we embrace the beauty in our flaws and the lessons in our mistakes?

Mastering the art of letting go means understanding that you are enough just as you are. It means accepting that progress is more important than perfection.

If you can do this, if you can embrace your imperfections and let go of this relentless pursuit of perfection, then you’re definitely mastering the art of letting go.

9) Predictability

We all crave a certain level of predictability in our lives. It gives us a sense of safety and control. But clinging to predictability also means we’re closing off ourselves to new experiences and opportunities.

Letting go of the need for predictability means embracing uncertainty. It means being open to life’s surprises, both good and bad.

This doesn’t mean you should throw caution to the wind and live recklessly. It means understanding that life is full of surprises, and that’s part of what makes it interesting.

If you can let go of predictability and embrace the unexpected, then you’re definitely mastering the art of letting go.

10) The past

We’ve all heard it before – you can’t change the past. Yet, many of us spend so much time dwelling on past events, reliving old memories, and regretting past actions.

But here’s the thing. The past is a place of reference, not residence.

When you’ve mastered the art of letting go, you understand this. You learn from your past but you don’t live there. You let it shape your wisdom but not your identity.

You know that every day is a new chance to write a new story, to create new memories, to become a better version of yourself.

Final reflection: The freedom in release

The essence of mastering the art of letting go lies in understanding one fundamental truth – we are not defined by our possessions, our past, or the opinions of others.

Letting go is about releasing the weight that holds us back, freeing ourselves from the self-imposed constraints and the external expectations. It’s about recognizing that our worth is inherent and unchanging.

The philosopher Lao Tzu once said, “By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning.”

This profound quote captures the liberating power of letting go. It encapsulates the peace and freedom that comes from releasing our attachments and embracing the flow of life.

As you reflect on these ten points, consider how they resonate with your own experiences. Are there things you’re holding onto that are stopping you from moving forward? Are there areas in your life where you could practice letting go?

Remember, the art of letting go isn’t something you perfect overnight. It’s a journey, a continuous process of growth and self-discovery. But with each step, with each release, comes a little more freedom, a little more peace.

And in that release, there’s a world to be won.

Picture of Lachlan Brown

Lachlan Brown

I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets.
Your Retirement, Your Way

Design a retirement you actually recognise as your own

Related articles

Most read articles

Trending around the web

The people who appear to do hard things effortlessly aren’t experiencing less resistance than you — they’ve just stopped treating the resistance as a sign that something is wrong

The people who appear to do hard things effortlessly aren’t experiencing less resistance than you — they’ve just stopped treating the resistance as a sign that something is wrong

The Expert Editor

If you regularly start the difficult task before you feel ready, have the awkward conversation before it festers, and pay the small cost now to avoid the larger one later, you’ve quietly mastered something most people spend their whole lives postponing

If you regularly start the difficult task before you feel ready, have the awkward conversation before it festers, and pay the small cost now to avoid the larger one later, you’ve quietly mastered something most people spend their whole lives postponing

The Expert Editor

Psychology says the discomfort of doing something hard rarely lasts as long as the discomfort of having not done it, and people who understand this small asymmetry quietly run their lives better than everyone else

Psychology says the discomfort of doing something hard rarely lasts as long as the discomfort of having not done it, and people who understand this small asymmetry quietly run their lives better than everyone else

The Expert Editor

Most people don’t realize that the relationships they envy from the outside — the calm, ordinary, slightly dull ones — are exactly the ones built by people who already lived through the exciting kind and chose differently the second time

Most people don’t realize that the relationships they envy from the outside — the calm, ordinary, slightly dull ones — are exactly the ones built by people who already lived through the exciting kind and chose differently the second time

The Expert Editor

The love that lasts isn’t the love that started with fireworks. It’s the love that survived the third Tuesday of February in year nineteen, when nothing happened and neither of you wanted to be anywhere else

The love that lasts isn’t the love that started with fireworks. It’s the love that survived the third Tuesday of February in year nineteen, when nothing happened and neither of you wanted to be anywhere else

The Expert Editor

my wife still makes me the same cup of tea every morning the same way she has for forty-one years, and somewhere in my fifties I stopped finding it boring and started understanding it was the most reliable thing in my life

my wife still makes me the same cup of tea every morning the same way she has for forty-one years, and somewhere in my fifties I stopped finding it boring and started understanding it was the most reliable thing in my life

The Expert Editor

A letter now and then

Every so often I send out reflections, resources and practical tools on designing this next chapter — the sort of thinking I'd share with a friend over coffee. If it sounds useful, come along.

By submitting this form, you understand and agree to our Privacy Terms