We all aspire to be truly happy, but what does that really look like?
Psychology has some answers. I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit, and I spend a lot of time delving into mindfulness and Buddhism, trying to understand the building blocks of genuine happiness.
According to research, people who are truly happy usually exhibit certain traits. And no, it’s not about having a perfect life, but about how they approach life’s ups and downs.
In this article, we’re going to explore these 10 traits. My hope is that by understanding them, we can all take steps towards nurturing our own happiness.
Let’s dive in.
1) Embrace of mindfulness
One trait that truly happy people seem to have in common is their embrace of mindfulness.
Mindfulness, a core tenet of Buddhism I’ve spent years studying, is all about being present in the moment. It’s about fully experiencing and acknowledging our thoughts, feelings, and surroundings, without judging them.
Psychology research suggests that mindfulness can significantly contribute to our happiness. It allows us to enjoy life as it unfolds, rather than constantly striving for “more” or worrying about the future.
Truly happy people understand this. They make a conscious effort to stay grounded in the present moment. They savor the simple joy of being alive, right here, right now.
Incorporating mindfulness into our daily lives isn’t always easy, but it’s a practice that can deeply transform our relationship with happiness. After all, the present moment is all we truly have.
2) Cultivation of compassion
Another important trait that distinguishes genuinely happy people is their deep-seated compassion, both towards others and towards themselves.
In my journey through mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned that compassion is not just about feeling sympathy for others. It’s also about understanding and accepting our own flaws and weaknesses.
As the renowned Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Compassion is a verb.” Truly happy people don’t just feel compassion; they act on it. They extend kindness to others without expecting anything in return, and they treat themselves with the same gentleness.
By cultivating compassion, we can forge deeper connections with those around us and learn to be more forgiving of our own imperfections. In the process, we often find that happiness becomes a more constant companion.
3) Living with impact and minimal ego
It might seem surprising, but truly happy individuals often demonstrate a unique balance. They strive to live with maximum impact while maintaining a minimal ego.
This balance is a concept I’ve explored in depth in my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego.
In it, I delve into the Buddhist teachings that advise us to make meaningful contributions to the world around us while detaching ourselves from the inherent desire for recognition and praise.
Truly happy people understand this balance. They are driven by purpose, not ego. They seek to make a difference because it aligns with their values and brings them joy, not because they want to be seen or applauded.
This mindful approach to life, focusing on impact rather than ego, can create a profound sense of fulfillment and happiness.
After all, it’s not about being the best in the eyes of others; it’s about being the best we can be for ourselves and those around us.
4) Practice of gratitude
Regardless of their circumstances, truly happy people regularly practice gratitude. They understand the wisdom in the words of the Dalai Lama: “Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
One of those actions is recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives.
It’s easy to take things for granted and focus on what’s missing or wrong. But truly happy people make it a habit to count their blessings, large and small.
And here’s the practical part: you can, too. Consider keeping a gratitude journal where you jot down a few things you’re grateful for each day. This simple practice can shift your perspective, helping you see the positive aspects of your life more clearly.
The more you notice the good, the more you’ll realize how much there is to be happy about. Now, that’s something to be grateful for!
5) Understanding of core values
Happiness is not a one-size-fits-all concept. What brings joy to one person might not resonate with another. This is something I’ve come to understand in my own journey towards happiness.
Truly happy people understand their own core values and align their lives with them. These values serve as a compass, guiding their decisions and actions.
But how do we uncover these core values? Well, it’s not always straightforward. It often requires deep self-reflection and honesty.
For those seeking guidance in this area, Life Transition coach Jeanette Brown offers a useful tool. Her Defining Your Values Exercise is designed to help you identify what truly matters to you.
By understanding our core values, we can lead lives that are more authentic and fulfilling. When our actions and goals align with what we deem most important, happiness isn’t just an occasional guest; it becomes a steadfast companion.
6) Balance in life
Life is a juggling act. Work, family, friendships, hobbies, health – it can feel like we’re constantly trying to keep all the balls in the air.
But here’s the thing: Truly happy people understand the importance of balance. They realize that focusing too much on one area can lead to stress and burnout.
They strive to distribute their time and energy across various aspects of their lives. They might not get it right every time, but they keep trying.
Here’s a practical tip: Try to regularly assess how you’re spending your time. Are you neglecting any important areas? Are there things you need to cut back on? Making small adjustments can lead to a more balanced and happier life.
7) Acceptance of imperfections
We all have flaws and make mistakes. It’s part of being human. But how we react to these imperfections can significantly impact our happiness.
In my exploration of mindfulness, I’ve found that acceptance is a powerful practice. It’s about acknowledging our imperfections without judging or criticizing ourselves.
Truly happy people embrace this concept. They understand that nobody is perfect, and they extend compassion and forgiveness towards themselves when they stumble.
They see their mistakes not as failures, but as opportunities for growth and learning. This acceptance creates a freeing sense of self-compassion and contentment, paving the way for genuine happiness.
8) Pursuit of growth
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. This quote beautifully encapsulates a trait commonly found among truly happy people: the pursuit of growth.
Happy individuals understand that life is a journey of self-improvement and learning. They continually strive to better themselves, not out of dissatisfaction or self-criticism, but out of a love for learning and development.
They view every experience, good or bad, as an opportunity for growth. This mindset not only fosters resilience but also nurtures a deep sense of fulfillment and happiness.
After all, when we’re growing, we’re evolving into the best version of ourselves.
9) Ability to let go
It might seem counterintuitive, but one of the traits of truly happy people is their ability to let go. Whether it’s past mistakes, old grudges, or unfulfilled expectations, they know the importance of releasing what no longer serves them.
In my own journey, I’ve found that holding on to negativity can be like carrying a heavy backpack. It weighs us down and prevents us from moving forward freely.
Happy people understand this. They choose to drop the backpack. They forgive, they learn from their experiences, and then they move on.
Letting go isn’t about forgetting or ignoring. It’s about acknowledging and releasing. And in doing so, we create space for new experiences, growth, and ultimately, happiness.
10) Regular physical activity
It’s simple, but it’s true: regular physical activity contributes to happiness.
The mind-body connection is strong, and when we take care of our bodies, we also nurture our minds. Exercise releases endorphins, known as “feel-good” hormones, which can boost our mood and energy levels.
But regular physical activity isn’t just about hitting the gym or running marathons. Happy people incorporate movement into their daily lives in ways that they enjoy. It could be a walk in the park, a dance class, or a yoga session.
So here’s a practical tip: Find a form of physical activity that you love and make it a regular part of your routine. Not only will it benefit your health, but it can also significantly enhance your overall happiness.
Conclusion
The path to true happiness is a personal and unique journey. It’s about embracing mindfulness, understanding our core values, and practicing balance in our lives. It involves accepting our imperfections, pursuing growth, and understanding when it’s time to let go.
And remember, happiness is a daily practice, not a destination. The traits listed above are not boxes to be ticked off but habits to be cultivated over time.
If you’re looking to go deeper into understanding your values and aligning them with your life, I highly recommend Jeanette Brown’s Defining Your Values Exercise.
Ultimately, the key to happiness lies within ourselves. And with mindfulness and self-awareness, we can unlock it.
