There’s a great divide between chasing happiness and truly living it.
Chasing happiness can often feel like you’re running on a treadmill – always in motion but never really getting anywhere. This relentless pursuit often leaves us feeling exhausted and unfulfilled.
Living happiness, on the other hand, is about embracing the present moment and finding joy in the everyday. It’s about choosing to be happy rather than waiting for it to come to you.
Those who have made this shift from chasing to living happiness have some secrets up their sleeves. And lucky for us, they’re willing to share.
Here are the 9 secrets from people who stopped chasing happiness and started living it.
1) Embracing imperfection
Perfection, while seemingly desirable, is often the enemy of happiness.
Those who have mastered the art of living happiness understand this profound truth. They’ve realized that chasing an illusion of perfection only leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Instead, they’ve chosen to embrace imperfection. Not just in themselves, but in others and in life as a whole.
Embracing imperfection doesn’t mean ignoring faults or settling for less. It means acknowledging that flaws exist, but refusing to allow them to overshadow the beauty of life.
It’s about seeing life as a beautifully flawed masterpiece and finding joy in its imperfect nature.
By choosing to embrace imperfection, these individuals have found a direct path to living happiness instead of endlessly chasing it.
And that’s a secret worth embracing.
2) Practicing gratitude
Here’s a personal story: I used to get bogged down by all the things I didn’t have. The perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect life. It was a constant chase, and happiness always seemed just out of reach.
But then, I started practicing gratitude.
I began to take a few moments each day to reflect on what I did have instead of what I didn’t. I wrote in a gratitude journal and made it a point to express my thanks for the smallest joys – a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a good book to read, a quiet moment to myself.
Gradually, I noticed a shift. My focus moved from what was missing in my life to the abundance that was already there.
I stopped chasing happiness because I realized I was already living it. Gratitude had opened my eyes to this.
So, if you’re stuck in the pursuit of happiness, try practicing gratitude. It’s a simple but powerful secret to start living your happiness right now.
3) Living in the present
Our minds have a peculiar tendency to dwell on the past or worry about the future. This constant mental time travel can rob us of our present happiness.
People who have stopped chasing happiness and started living it understand the importance of staying present. They savor the moment, indulging in each experience as it comes.
Did you know that researchers from Harvard University found that people spend almost 47% of their waking hours thinking about something other than what they’re currently doing? This mind-wandering is generally associated with less happiness.
By consciously choosing to live in the present, these individuals harness their happiness right where it exists – in the now. So, next time you find your mind drifting, gently bring it back to the present moment. It’s where happiness lives.
4) Cultivating Positive Relationships
We’re social creatures by nature, and the quality of our relationships significantly impacts our sense of happiness.
Those who have successfully transitioned from chasing happiness to living it, place a high value on their relationships. They invest time and energy in nurturing positive connections with family, friends, and even strangers.
They understand that happiness doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It’s shared in laughter with a friend, in the comfort of a loved one’s presence, in the simple act of helping a stranger.
They’ve discovered that by fostering positive relationships, they create a supportive, joyful environment where happiness thrives. So, if you want to stop chasing happiness and start living it, look around at the people in your life. Cultivate those relationships and watch your happiness grow.
5) Prioritizing self-care
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it can be easy to forget to take care of ourselves. However, those who have transitioned from chasing happiness to living it understand the importance of self-care.
Related Stories from Jeanette Brown
- The most alive people in their second act aren’t the busiest or the calmest — they’re the ones whose weeks clearly reflect what they actually believe matters now
- The 5 types of wealth that actually matter after 60—and why focusing on money alone quietly leaves so many people feeling unfulfilled
- 7 things retired people wish they could tell their 55-year-old selves
They recognize that they can’t pour from an empty cup. Hence, they make sure to dedicate time for activities that replenish their mental, emotional and physical health.
Be it a regular exercise routine, a healthy diet, adequate sleep or simply spending time alone with a good book – they prioritize self-care and consider it non-negotiable.
By taking care of themselves, they ensure that they are in the best possible position to experience and enjoy the happiness that life offers. So, remember to put self-care on your agenda if you want to move from chasing happiness to truly living it.
6) Embracing vulnerability
Opening ourselves up to others, showing our true selves, warts and all – it can be terrifying. Yet, those who’ve stopped chasing happiness and started living it, have discovered the power of vulnerability.
They’ve learned that hiding behind walls of pretense only leads to loneliness and disconnect. On the other hand, being honest about their feelings, their fears, their failures allows for deep, meaningful connections with others.
These connections, born out of shared vulnerability, bring a sense of belonging and acceptance that is a significant contributor to living happiness.
So, dare to be vulnerable. It might feel scary at first, but the rewards – genuine relationships and a profound sense of belonging – make it absolutely worth it. Embrace your vulnerability and watch as happiness stops being a chase and becomes your way of life.
7) Letting go of control
There was a time when I tried to control everything. I believed that if I could just manage every detail, then I’d be happy. But life doesn’t work that way. Unexpected things happen, plans fall apart, and the more I tried to control, the more frustrated I became.
When I finally decided to let go of control, something amazing happened. Instead of feeling anxious or fearful, I felt free. It was like a heavy burden had been lifted off my shoulders.
I realized that I couldn’t control everything, and that’s okay. Life’s unpredictable nature isn’t something to be tamed, but rather, it’s something to be embraced.
Letting go of control allows us to be more adaptable, more resilient, and ultimately, happier. When we stop trying to orchestrate every detail of our lives, we open ourselves up to the unexpected joys life has to offer. So embrace the unknown and let life unfold naturally. It’s a secret well worth learning.
8) Finding purpose
Purpose is a powerful motivator. It gives direction to our lives and adds a sense of meaning to our actions.
Those who’ve stopped chasing happiness and started living it have understood the importance of having a purpose in life. They’ve found something that they’re passionate about, something that matters to them, and they’ve made it a central part of their lives.
This purpose doesn’t necessarily need to be something grand or world-changing. It could be as simple as being a good parent, making a positive impact on your community, or finding fulfillment in your career.
Having a purpose guides them in their decisions, provides motivation during tough times, and brings a sense of satisfaction that fleeting pleasures often fail to provide.
Therefore, find your purpose. It could be the key to stop the chase and start living your happiness.
9) Choosing happiness
At the end of the day, happiness is a choice. Those who’ve stopped chasing and started living it have made a conscious decision to be happy.
They understand that circumstances don’t define happiness, but that it’s a state of mind we choose to be in. They don’t wait for happiness to come along; they choose to be happy here and now, despite what life throws at them.
Choosing happiness isn’t about ignoring negative emotions or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about acknowledging all feelings but deciding not to let the negative ones control you.
So, choose happiness. It’s the most powerful secret of all and the surest way to stop chasing and start living it.
Final thoughts: Happiness is a journey
The pursuit of happiness is a universal human quest. Yet, it’s not the grand events or the monumental achievements that hold the key to lasting joy.
Research by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, suggests that about 40% of our happiness is within our control, the rest being dictated by genetic predisposition and life circumstances.
This means that a significant portion of our happiness comes from the choices we make, the attitudes we adopt, and the habits we cultivate.
Those who’ve stopped chasing happiness and started living it have understood this. They’ve realized that happiness isn’t a destination to be reached but a journey to be experienced. It’s found in the little things – a hug from a loved one, a shared laugh with a friend, a quiet moment of solitude, or a random act of kindness.
So as you go about your life, remember these secrets. The power to live happiness is in your hands. It’s not about reaching some far-off goal but about savoring each moment and making conscious choices that align with your wellness and joy.
In the end, living happiness is not just about having a good life but about recognizing and appreciating that life is good.
Related Stories from Jeanette Brown
- The most alive people in their second act aren’t the busiest or the calmest — they’re the ones whose weeks clearly reflect what they actually believe matters now
- The 5 types of wealth that actually matter after 60—and why focusing on money alone quietly leaves so many people feeling unfulfilled
- 7 things retired people wish they could tell their 55-year-old selves
Feeling lost or unfulfilled?
Jeanette Brown’s “Your Life Review” video is designed to help you identify key areas in your life that need improvement.
Through a simple yet powerful exercise, you’ll assess your current satisfaction across different life domains, allowing you to pinpoint specific areas for growth.
This life review forms the foundation for creating a clear vision, setting aligned goals, and developing a personalized action plan.
Take the first step towards a more satisfying life. Start your Life Review now and gain immediate access to this transformative exercise.





