Connection & Relationships

People who light up a room are often not the loudest. Research suggests warmth, genuine attention and a good mood that spreads to others matter most, and all can be practised.

I first wrote this quite a few years ago, around the time my husband and I became empty nesters. Reading it again now, I remember how proud I was of our sons and how strange it felt to have a quieter house. I also smiled at my certainty that it was our time to fly.

Teenage grandchildren often want more time with friends, but research suggests the bond can stay strong. What matters most is the quality of the relationship, and here’s what helps.

Phrases like ‘sorry to bother you’ can seem kind, but research suggests always putting others first can wear away our sense of self. Here are seven to notice, and kinder alternatives.

The old saying has roots in the Gospels. Research on secrets suggests the hardest part of keeping one may be what it does to us in private, and that sharing it carefully can help.

Friends who really get you matter more with age. Research on friendship, feeling understood and being yourself suggests where to find them and how to let them in.

We all talk about ourselves more than we realise. Research suggests that asking one more question, and resisting the urge to shift the spotlight, can make conversations more meaningful.

Heart-to-hearts are the conversations we tend to put off. Research suggests they go better than we expect, and the ones worth having in later life may matter more than we think.

Advice comes from love, but research on parents and grown children suggests what they often want most is to be heard. Here’s what careful listening does, and what it can look like.

Not every shrinking social circle is a worry. Here’s how to tell healthy change from withdrawal worth noticing, and why reaching out is likely to be more welcome than you think.