Have you ever wondered what you would say to your younger self if you could? As a woman in her sixties, I’ve often reflected on the winding path of my life—the moments of joy, heartbreak, growth, and resilience. So, I decided to ask myself a poignant question: What would I say to my 16-year-old self?
To answer, I had to step back in time and reconnect with that hopeful, uncertain, and wide-eyed girl I once was.
What followed was a deeply moving exercise in self-discovery and understanding, one that I’m sharing with you here in the form of a letter. This is not just a letter to the past—it’s also a mirror for the present and a guidepost for the future. Writing it helped me see my journey more clearly, acknowledging both the challenges I’ve faced and the wisdom I’ve gained.
In this article, I’ll share my letter to my younger self. But before you dive in, consider this: you can do this too. Taking the time to write to your younger self is a powerful way to reflect on your life, your choices, and who you’ve become. It can illuminate the lessons you’ve learned and help you connect with the person you were—and still are—deep inside.
Start by choosing a specific age, perhaps one during a pivotal moment in your life. Then, write to that version of yourself. What would you want them to know? What reassurance, advice, or love would you give them? The act of writing is as transformative as the words themselves.
So now, let me take you on my journey back to being 16—where it all began. Here’s my letter.
At 16, I was walking a fairly traditional path. Growing up in a large family, I felt secure and deeply loved, even though I was aware of the struggle my parents faced to make ends meet. Despite our modest life, I was rich in curiosity and a love for learning. I thrived on the satisfaction of working hard and achieving good grades. I poured my heart into everything I did.
But it wasn’t all about academics. I was drawn to movement and exercise, and dancing quickly became my greatest joy. There was something magical about losing myself in the rhythm and motion, a freedom I couldn’t quite find anywhere else.
Yet, even amidst this vibrant world of family, learning, and dancing, I carried an undercurrent of worry. I often felt a quiet unease, though I wouldn’t have known to call it anxiety back then. It was just me—overthinking, over feeling, and carrying the weight of worries I didn’t know how to set down. Strategies for managing those feelings weren’t part of my world yet; I simply moved through them the best I could.
My 16-year-old self hadn’t thought a great deal about the future although I always knew I wanted to go to university, and I loved learning languages. I wanted to teach and make a difference, and I particularly wanted to teach migrants. Strange really, as at that time we were living in a monocultural society, and I hadn’t a lot to do with different cultures.
I was also a romantic and often dreamed about meeting my true love one day!
Now I look back at my 16-year-old self and I say to her what a roller coaster ride of a life you are going to have. You mind is going to be expanded enormously through the vast experiences of life and your openness to learning.
You will learn that failure is an amazing teacher. Your eyes will be opened too, to the diversity of people and cultures, the vast range of viewpoints of the world and the different values people hold.
You will be overwhelmed at both the heroism and cruelty of people. Through it all you will keep that optimistic view of life that you gained as a young girl and your belief that most people are decent and are doing their best to live in a complex and uncertain world.
Whatever you choose to do, you will pour your heart and soul into it—that much is certain. Along the way, you’ll experience both triumphs and setbacks, each shaping the person you’re meant to become.
You’ll find your true love, and together you’ll build a life filled with joy and meaning. You will have three incredible sons, who will become the light of your life and your greatest teachers.
Your passion for learning and helping others will lead you to a fulfilling career in education. You will teach migrants, sharing knowledge and building connections that change lives. Over time, you’ll rise to senior leadership roles, navigating challenges with resilience and shaping a path of purpose and impact.
You will face enormous challenges; your heartbreak when your sister dies at such a young age and when your younger brother dies suddenly, and your fear of losing loved ones who go through significant health issues. You will appreciate the simple things in life and be grateful for so much you previously took for granted.
You will become fascinated by the way people behave and become an ardent supporter of personal development. You will learn that we all have such potential, if only we can harness it, and you will learn the importance of following your passions.
In time, you’ll discover a passion for coaching and writing, helping others unlock their potential and navigate their own journeys. This work will lead you to create a course that empowers people to coach themselves—a resource born from your own experience and love for learning and growth.
Underneath it all, you will see that the core values you developed growing up are intrinsically the same. You will continue to treat people the way you want to be treated.
Your strong family values passed onto you by your parents will be integral to the way you live. You will remain open to learning and curious about the world. You will keep on growing and expanding your mind, learning so much about yourself and others.
You will also see those old patterns and particularly that recurring story of not being good enough, rears its ugly head at the most inopportune of times. You will learn that you are so much more than your thoughts and ego. You relish the times you feel and know this, even though your anxiety and fear can get in the way.
You will be so proud of yourself for the times you step out of your comfort zone. You won’t shy away from challenges. In fact, you’ll embrace them and through them you’ll become stronger and more resilient. You will learn to be kinder to yourself, and appreciate the now rather than looking at the what ifs and being fearful about the future.
At 16, you think anyone in their sixties is ancient and is probably retired anyway, but I can tell you, my 16-year-old self, that is so far from the truth. Your desire to contribute and make a difference remains very much the theme of your life no matter what age you are.
Your life will continue to unfold in a variety of ways. Yes, there is no doubt you are a lot wiser in your sixties, but you have still so much to learn and experience. You have different paths to take and will continue to challenge yourself and try new things.
Those old limiting patterns continue to rear their head, but you are becoming so much more aware of them. You accept they are there, but you try not to be consumed by them. They are just thoughts and are not the essence of you! You know life will continue to give you curve balls and they end up being your best teachers.
And so, dear 16-year-old me, as I close this letter, I want to leave you with a piece of wisdom that has shaped my life in profound ways. It’s a quote that has been a guiding light through challenges and a reminder of the strength and freedom we hold within ourselves:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
– Viktor Frankl
This simple yet powerful truth encapsulates a pivotal lesson: life will bring its share of struggles, but within every moment, we hold the power to choose. How we respond, how we grow, and how we find our way forward—all of this lies in that space between what happens to us and how we decide to meet it.
So, to my younger self—and to all of us—may we always respect that space. It is where we find our resilience, our courage, and the freedom to shape our own lives.
